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the girl everyone forgot about

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I CHANGED MY LIVE JOURNAL NAME!!!!! [17 Oct 2001|10:32pm]
It's "sheloveshim". I added Erik, Cheryl, Erin, Kelly, Mansie, Meg, Victor, Sarah, Rae, Sean, Hannah, and i just remembered I need to add Stephanie, Gabby and Randy. Anyone else who wants me to add them/have added me reply here.

6 will watch me die

[16 Oct 2001|05:09pm]
[ mood | crappy ]

It's funny how only Kelly, Erin and Mansie reply to my journal. >:o

I think I'm just gonna make a new site at angelfire...ugh. I'm so boring. I'm in no rush, though. Po' tripod. Hehe...I think I have an account at every free webserver out there...even MaxPages. FUCKING MaxPages...who the hell has ever heard of them?!#@?!@$#?T@^$% Hahaha.

Well, today sucked, and I still have to go to guitar practice. Bah. A good 5-10 minutes will be eaten up cos Larry has to put on my new string...foomular.

I think me and Kate/me and Stephanie might do something this weekend. Sounds neat, I have 3 friends in Joliet now, woo. Mmmk I'm off.

6 will watch me die

awe [15 Oct 2001|11:34pm]
[ mood | touched ]

bJorklovesbears: eric i'm so glad you're still my friend...even after you dumped me...i didn't wanna lose you.
HeavyWashMachine: i didn
HeavyWashMachine: 't want to lose you a friend ever
bJorklovesbears: "ever"?
HeavyWashMachine: i think you are a good friend
bJorklovesbears: awe thank you :)
HeavyWashMachine: no prob bob
bJorklovesbears: hehe

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the lonliness is worse [15 Oct 2001|07:42pm]
[ mood | energetic ]

First off, here is the link I promised:

Secondly, hiya. I can't believe no one at my school knows who Bjork is, ugh!!!! Some guy said she was from Ireland right after Is aid she was from Iceland. No one here is friend material, I swear. At least not for me. Maybe I'm just not meant to have friends. *feels Lisa vibes* Eric is still friends with me. Yay! I'm happy, d00d. *thumbs up all dorky and mentos-y like Mike* I wanna make a good siiiiite I need to learn HTML and find a good host besides envy.nu and angelfire...tripod is neat but I can't do HTML...$W%E%WYR%^URTN FXYIJT^&I BAH! Adam's trying to be my friend. I'll...not forgive him just not be bitchy, but I don't wanna be his friend either. Just...yeah. Many-a-lunch alone in the future, I see. Hmm. Okay.

watch me die

in a forest pitch dark... [14 Oct 2001|11:28pm]
[ mood | good ]


I swear, it must have been one of the best concerts I've ever been to...wow. It was just so amazing, she was dancing around and stuff. The choir was so awesome to watch, I was watching them move as they sang...Bjork had the swan dress on and this red one that clicked as she moved with big beads on the top and HUGE feathers...the hugest I've ever seen...it was breathtaking...And even before the show, just watching everyone come inside. I love watching people, interesting people anyway. The people like at the concert are all so beautiful to watch...so many others say "people are shit" and such but just watching them move and talk and walk and how they dress and do their hair and laugh and dance...I feel like Kevin Spacey in American Beauty...how there is too much beauty in the world and sometimes he feels he might explode...but I digress.

It was unbelievable.

4 will watch me die

oooo [14 Oct 2001|01:37pm]
[ mood | amused ]

I see Bjork tonight! Woo woo! I don't know what to wear...hmm. Everyone needs to see the video where "Your daugter...she come to my house and she kicked my dog. My dog now need operation." etc. Hahaha. I'll post a link later. Well I'll add some photos...uhm...adios.

photos of meCollapse )

6 will watch me die

gotitforanicklefromagypsy... [14 Oct 2001|01:13am]
[ mood | cold ]

<3 Dexter. Anyscrew...Yeah I took a lot of photos today. I got BLACK *gasp* LIQUID *gasp gasp* EYELINER! *gasp gasp gasp* ;) It went fairly well considering I've never even touched the shit before. I guess it was all my "training" with solid. Shoo'...I didn't do much today. Bjork tomorrow! *shimmers* I dunno what to wear...someone help me thikn of something! :o

Here's a photo I took just now, if you want me to post the other ones I took tonight say "aye!" otherwise say "nay!"

5 will watch me die

[13 Oct 2001|10:44pm]
[ mood | cranky ]

read my conversation with adamCollapse )

watch me die

adamsux0rs [13 Oct 2001|10:31pm]
[ mood | angry ]

That lying little bastard!!!! I hate him! he's been saying sooooo many lies about me to everyone!!!! I can't believe him, I can't understand why they would belive his lies...him pulling that whole "Sarah or me" thing, so I was all alone on lunch Friday...that's most likely gonna happen Monday, as well...goddammit. He thinks I lied about something but I never even said it, Kate said it, but it was wrong, but he thinks I said the thing Kate messed up on even though I explained it to him more than once...gah. Oh great he IMed me...I'll keep you posted.

watch me die

[13 Oct 2001|04:34pm]
[ mood | nostalgic ]

read my first conversation with Eric since he dumped my ass!Collapse )

2 will watch me die

looky looky what sarah did in artsy farty class [13 Oct 2001|11:02am]
[ mood | weird ]

5 will watch me die

[11 Oct 2001|08:19pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

I dare you not to reply to my journal!

5 will watch me die

*sigh* [11 Oct 2001|05:56pm]
[ mood | nervous ]

RaesNeatoMind: eric found his pills
bJorklovesbears: :O
RaesNeatoMind: i called him today and stuff
bJorklovesbears: ooo cool
bJorklovesbears: do you know if he'll be on again soon?
RaesNeatoMind: yes he will
RaesNeatoMind: at least it hink so
bJorklovesbears: :O
bJorklovesbears: this is gonna feel weird
bJorklovesbears: i haven't talk to him since he dumped me
RaesNeatoMind: :O
bJorklovesbears: :O
bJorklovesbears: *feels funny*
RaesNeatoMind: awww
bJorklovesbears: i DO...ahh!
bJorklovesbears: i hope he wasn't lying when he said he still wanted to be my friend :o
RaesNeatoMind: nah he still wants to
RaesNeatoMind: he says he feels like a jackass
bJorklovesbears: why?
RaesNeatoMind: becuase he broke off the relatioship becuase of the distance
RaesNeatoMind: yar he's naything but a jackass
bJorklovesbears: so he still likes me?
RaesNeatoMind: hes like chirs!
bJorklovesbears: :O
bJorklovesbears: forbidden fruit...
RaesNeatoMind: i dunno, he said he was never going out for a nother long distance relationship
bJorklovesbears: hmm
bJorklovesbears: i don't know how i'm supposed to feel...ashamed?
RaesNeatoMind: why?
bJorklovesbears: cos i had something to do with it?
RaesNeatoMind: ohh
bJorklovesbears: :(
bJorklovesbears: i feel so weird D:
RaesNeatoMind: :O
bJorklovesbears: :(
RaesNeatoMind: i would too
bJorklovesbears: :/
bJorklovesbears: i might even cry! :O
RaesNeatoMind: *hagz*
bJorklovesbears: *hugs you back* thanks rae :)
RaesNeatoMind: just keep singing "across the universe"
bJorklovesbears: :(
RaesNeatoMind: <3 john lennon
bJorklovesbears: omg
bJorklovesbears: read this:
RaesNeatoMind: what?
bJorklovesbears: Porcelina Lux:wait im so confused
Porcelina Lux:eric your ex?
Porcelina Lux:who found what pills
bJorklovesbears:he lost his ADD pills
bJorklovesbears: bJorklovesbears:and he was grounded offline
bJorklovesbears:during which course he dumped me
Porcelina Lux:so medically techincally, he dumped you in a time where he hadnt had his medication.
Porcelina Lux:hmmmm
RaesNeatoMind: :O
RaesNeatoMind: heheh
bJorklovesbears: it;'s funny cos it's tr00
bJorklovesbears: god i feel so...weird...

1 will watch me die

candy cane? [11 Oct 2001|04:50pm]
[ mood | blank ]

Oh god...I saw Justin Almazan today and he looked at me...haha it felt soooo weird...O.o

Anyfork...today was, hmm...less horrible, I guess. Ha ha I think my speech teacher hates me (...WITH A VENGEANCE!) but she covers it up...it's cos of my damn paper, ha ha. I wish I could put HTML on Tripod...carnedsarnnit. I liked Angelfire cos you could mix HTML and basic but, gag, their background choices/colour schemes/photo hosting sucked royale. But I could add that neato htmlGear. *frumps* I wish someone with a domain would host me. :D *hint hint*

I love pirates. :O

watch me die

HELP ME THINK OF A NAME FOR THIS ZESTY BUGGER!!!!!!!!! [11 Oct 2001|03:29pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

(read title)!

5 will watch me die

oh my... [11 Oct 2001|07:25am]
[ mood | tired ]

I had a weirdddddd dream last night which i will tell you about RIGHT NOW!
Okay I was in lunch and John like came over to me and I was sitting with a bunch of like 8th graders for some reason and John was like "Hi...How're young doin?" I said okay, then he said "Meet me later." and left. I was really giddy cos I think in the dream I liked John again. Later I was at this rich person's house...I don't know whose it was but a lot of people were over and I saw Justin Almazan and I haven' t talked to him in a looooong time (note: John and Justin are my exes) and well I told him John and I broke up and he hugged me and he was saying "Oh I'm so sorry!" Practicly crying. It was a weird hug but I hugged him back really tightly. Then he said he'd ask John how he fept about me, after I told him what John said at lunch. He gave me his number, hugged me again and left. So, then, I kept seeing John and I felt so weird. And I think I was seeing the older John...how he looked when I dated him. And I was talking to Randy (John's best friend) till he realised who I was. Grete.

watch me die

a thousand years [10 Oct 2001|11:05pm]
[ mood | okay ]

Hmm...Well my new Live Journal pictures haven't FULLY uploaded but, well, I hope it's okay. Anyfork, today sucked...again...I cried last night. Half of it was cos I was thinking about Eric...if we're ever gonna get back together...then I started crying. I cried more after that becos...well, I don't want guys to say anything about my looks anymore. Stop calling me pretty and beautiful and cute and sexy and hot and all that other stuff, please! It doesn't help me at all...so just stop...

Okay, I've said my piece.

watch me die

oh my catherine [09 Oct 2001|10:58pm]
[ mood | guilty ]

conversation with randy(i can"t go one without hitting on him, huh?)Collapse )

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I've never seen a more plastic flower [09 Oct 2001|09:09pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

Arrrrrrrrggghhhhhh! I hate AIM. Growl. Before, it deleted by buddy list and wouldn't let me add new ones or anything; now I just can't even get on. I even re-downloaded it. Fuckers. Plus, LiveJournal is pissing me off quite nicely. I did change the look of my journal~ what do you guys think, eh?
Happy birthday to Erik.
I wrote an article for the paper, and one of my poems will be in there tomorrow. Hoo-ray for me. I gave up on reviewing Tricky, it was such a pain in the ass. I'm never gonna review music again. But I did a quaint little article on the Breakfast Club. :D Woo-ee. Well, I guess I'll mail Mikey's letter (which I wrote today) and work on my site till I get AIM working...Oh! and I finally got Rachel's letter and she sent me the saucesome-est picture! I'll scan it lata. Peace outtie.

watch me die

I have thick skin.. [08 Oct 2001|10:42pm]
[ mood | blank ]

Actually...it's dry. I hate it, how come stores never have any shit for dry skin, huh? HUH?!!?!?! Like everyone has oily skin. Pfft. My hands are getting dry, too. Dry, dry, dry. I finished Juno and Juliet, it was neat. It's by Julian Gough, GO READ IT! >:O L I went shopping today...and I got these armwarmers at Hot Topic and the tag says "i'M AN ARMWARMER" It's soooooo stupid! I might scan it. I need a masseuse, too. Foom. At the mall, I was playing Queens of the Stonage on my discman at full volume and I'm going in all these old-lady business type sto's....ahaha! Oh, the looks they give you when you do that...I hate my face. I think I'll go bland for a week. There should be an ugly smilie thing. Bah.

2 will watch me die

she looks beautiful in the electric light [08 Oct 2001|12:35am]
[ mood | sore ]

Feck...my ear...is so sore... :( I need to write Mikey and/or Erik tomorrow...but then again I might be doing something but I don't know. I was messing around with my journal, too. I changed the font. :O Wowwie...I'm dull. Well, I got Kate and Adam to patch up...I hope... *crosses fingers* I really hope Adam stops being mad at me all the time...my guess was school got to him. *sigh* I need to finish my book...and call the library...and type up that biology thing...Gah! I'm out.

watch me die

sex talk? [07 Oct 2001|10:47pm]
[ mood | giggly ]

Geeeekusa: by the way...what's the birds and the bees? I was never told it when I was a kid...in fact, I never had any sex talk. I just kinda learned it on my own. what's the story...I've never been able to figureit out.
bJorklovesbears: aww
bJorklovesbears: *puts on mommy hat*
Geeeekusa: tell me!
bJorklovesbears: well...when a mommy and daddy love each other very much...
bJorklovesbears: the man...has a penis...and a woman has a vagina
Geeeekusa: yeah yeah...I don't care about that. but how do the birds and bees come into this? what do they ahve to do with anything?
bJorklovesbears: and when they both get pissed on bicardi...
Geeeekusa: ???
bJorklovesbears: i guesss the bee's stinger represents the dick
bJorklovesbears: and it stings the bird in the vaginal area
bJorklovesbears: cos the bird wanted some sweet sweet honey...awww... *drools*
Geeeekusa: so it stings the bird? Isn't that kinda violent? wouldn't it hurt the bird? ANd how does it impregnate the bird/ wouldn't that also kill the bee?
Geeeekusa: seriously...what do birds and bees have to do with anything?
bJorklovesbears: well when a girl loses her flower
bJorklovesbears: it hurts
bJorklovesbears: ...and bees search for flowers :O
Geeeekusa: well, what if she's a skanky whore and she lost it long before the bee ever did anything? hmm? how does this all work out?
bJorklovesbears: well some bee has to fuck her first
Geeeekusa: yeah, but...is that really the story? That's lame
bJorklovesbears: it's my own logic, for fuck's sake go to google.
bJorklovesbears: it's the internet they'll have something
Geeeekusa: yeha, but I'll proabbly end up with some lame porn site with "hot teens who wanna suck your cock" written across the screen. I'd prefer to avoid that shit.
bJorklovesbears: good girl
Geeeekusa: so you never got the birds and ees talk either?
bJorklovesbears: lets just work on you getting a boner first
Geeeekusa: hehe
bJorklovesbears: i got the sex talk, no birds or bees involved.
bJorklovesbears: my momma was smart
Geeeekusa: aye. Birds and bees sound more interesting though.
bJorklovesbears: where did that come from?
Geeeekusa: hmmm?
bJorklovesbears: n/m
bJorklovesbears: speaking of bicardi...

3 will watch me die

strawberry what? [07 Oct 2001|03:50pm]
[ mood | bored ]

i am bored bored bored bored bored.
read my crazy conversation with kyleCollapse )

2 will watch me die

another charming conversation with chris [07 Oct 2001|12:37am]
bJorklovesbears: did you ever see momento?
Geeeekusa: no
bJorklovesbears: it's really good
Geeeekusa: coo'
bJorklovesbears: let me find you a link
bJorklovesbears: http://otnemom.com/
bJorklovesbears: i think
Geeeekusa: I need flash
bJorklovesbears: i thought you had it
bJorklovesbears: oh well.
bJorklovesbears: i can check google later
Geeeekusa: aighto
continue reading this fect up convoCollapse )
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=-0 [06 Oct 2001|10:46pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Click here to find out what robot you really are

4 will watch me die

"AHHHHH!" "Hi, Adam." [06 Oct 2001|10:28pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

Tonight me and Stephanie went to Pumpkin Fest. It was like 30 friggin degrees out...God I was freezing. Anyscrew...Adam was like "come...you better come Sarah..." and I was like "Maybe." But okay I fucking went and I was like "Hey come walk around with me and Stephanie." cos he was on a break and he's just "I can't...I might go back in soon." So after being bored for a minute me and Stephanie left then okay 2 seconds later we saw Adam and Jordan and Tomas and Shawn running around with these two preps-turned-goth that are fucking annoying...fuck on a stick with a side of cheese cubes and muffin!

SNL is kinda funny...hehe.

watch me die

weekend to-do list [06 Oct 2001|12:44am]
[ mood | determined ]

-make mix tape
-write christine
-clean my room
-type up biology questions
-finish reading juno and juliet
-go thru the big closet in search of old clothes
-edit that tricky article
-work on my website
-practice guitar
-start/finish biology quarter project (lord how i loathe that subject)
-send aaron the money for a new phone card
-take some photos of my room
-make some more crap for my walls

....and maybe some other stuff. i'm tired. :)

watch me die

foom foom foom [05 Oct 2001|07:22pm]
[ mood | hungry ]

Stephanie's mom is crazy. Last minute she goes to Lyle (sp?). For fuck's sake! Anywhoozle, I went to her house after school. I haven't been to her house in fo'-eva. (That reminds me, why do people still act surprised when I say "flo'" and "po'" and "s'mo'"??) We listened to Radiohead and Foo Fighters and we were dancing and miming like we were in a musical. God, we're crazy. Ooo, and we watched Family Matters. The Grandma looks like a forking Turtle, for fuck's sake. It's soooo funny. Yar, we basically watched t.v. Hehe, cool.

Today at school was cruddy. Damn...Sport's Assembly. I swear those things are only fun if you're in them. But I wasn't. I read about 20 pages of my book though. Whoo! It's a damn good book, too. Go read Juno and Juliet, everybody. Or I'll beat you. I :heart: books written from a girl's point of view written by a guy...my three favourite books are like that. :O

And on that vein...

Yeah I have some cool little freshmen. :) Jaci (Jaki? Jackie? Whatever the fuck.) brought some little dinosaurs to French class and we played with them. I broke off the T-Rex's foot though and we had to tape it back on. I felt really bad. :/ *remembers "For Shizzle." laughs* Also, Amanda in my art class is neat. She and "Jackie" (yeah.) don't do drugs...and they have fairly good taste in music. Foom! Yeah I think Amanda is using me as her role model, like last night we wer both online and watching Boy Meets World and there was this kid Shawn called "Dances with Sweaters" and I told her I was laughing so hard and Todya she showed me her planner, she had a "Dances with Sweaters" nametag. OMG! Heh...and she put the Kill Hannah flyer on her fridge. And like a week or two ago she wore a skirt over jeans like me...ha! It's cute. I have fans. :O

I want hotdogs for some reason. Damn Ben for being such a picky eater. Asshat.

2 will watch me die

foom? [04 Oct 2001|10:24pm]
[ mood | busy ]

Yeah...lalala...Well I wrote Stephanie and Christine...but I didn't mail Christine's letter yet. I will soon though.

I got my cable, but I'm sure some of you have noticed cos of my new icons, hehe. Yeah...I have a really 80s photo...and a photo of me in my angel dres...and...I'll shutup now. :X

Tonight was Kill Hannah. I'm kind of glad I didn't go. It would just be a load of hurt now anyway. I'm feeling really loner lately. Well...more online loner. I only wanna go on basically to talk to Chris or Stephanie (Brown) and occasionally some other people. Oh, and to see if Rachel will ever go on. I guess she doesn't, eh. I wish I could talk to her again. And that I'd get her letter. Yeah.

Well, one photo, I guess.

3 will watch me die

an entry i wrote in speech class [04 Oct 2001|02:12pm]
[ mood | melancholy ]

I am writing this from speech cass, I'll post this when I go home. I cried myself to sleep last night. I was crying out "You never loved me!" and "Why did you leave me?!" (I guess I cry out when I cry.) I was just crying HERE but some was feigned. I don't think I'll cry anymore, actually. I still love him and miss him as much as before, maybe even more. I want to just let him know. I want to be his friend fork fuck's sake, I mean I got those vibes enough when we were together. Maybe it is better off. I want to be his friend and care for him anf be there for him. He's the first ex I've had where I actually WANT to be his friend. He was so different from all my other boyfriends in every weight (scarily), shape and form. Well, he was kinda like the first Justin...ooo nevermind. I think Kyle might call me tonight...I really wanna talk to him, or Chris. Any of "my guys." :heart:

watch me die

cry myself into a coma? [03 Oct 2001|09:49pm]
[ mood | sad ]

I cried.

A lot.

I want my Chris.

I wanna sit on his lap and have him hold me as I cry.

3 will watch me die

i feel so single. [03 Oct 2001|07:55pm]
[ mood | exanimate ]

Wow...I can't say I didn't expect it, but I can't say I did...well...wow. Yeah I called him from like 3:30 till about 4:30 and then my phone card ran out...then he called me at like...5:30? Yeah he's like "I have something to tell you. Hold on." *gulps* Yeah...natural paranoia kicks in.

I was right.

I don't remember exactly what he said at first...I was just staring into my lap and my chest as he talked. We were over. It's not like I was going to beg for him to take me back. I was just "Okay...Yeah, I'm fine..." in loops. (Inhale, exhale, pass out, wake-up repeat) So then...he said he wanted to stay friends...which I am fine with. I still love him, though. Goddamn. Anyway, he kept asking "Are you okay?" and saying he was sorry...I said I was okay even though we both knew I was talking out my ass. After...I don't know what I said but...out of nowhere he said (in an exhasperated voice) "You're beautiful...but it just isn't working out." Hmm..okay?

Well, anyway...I haven't cried yet...I'm sure it will hit me any moment now. Right before I took a shower I just went up to my dad and hugged him. I almost cried but I didn't,

It's kind of funny Stephanie cried when I told her, I guess I didn't help her cos today was horribly shitty for her. Awe.

...I don't have another witty comment. I'm sorry.

watch me die

from last night...still love it...*sigh* [03 Oct 2001|05:05pm]
[ mood | morose ]

bJorklovesbears: "i've come for your pickle"
Geeeekusa: hehe
bJorklovesbears: i love you chris. :)
Geeeekusa: I love me too...and you!
bJorklovesbears: i'm serious :)
Geeeekusa: awe.
bJorklovesbears: :\
Geeeekusa: hehe. yer sooo cute.
bJorklovesbears: how?
Geeeekusa: I don't know...you just are. so awkward yet interesting and adorable and ooo...
bJorklovesbears: awe that's prolly the nicest thing you've ever said to me :)
Geeeekusa: hehe. I'll make sure to not say it again. =)
bJorklovesbears: :(
Geeeekusa: ...joking darling, joking.
bJorklovesbears: with you i can never tell

watch me die

my chris hath returnahd! [02 Oct 2001|10:37pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

Yay! Chris is back! �whoop whoop! :D The rest of today sucked though...Adam drives me forkin' nuts...Angry....:heart: Sarah...Angry...:heart: Sarah...argh! Oh well....Yeah i got my photos from the trip to the mall...they're cooliez. Lalalala....and for the last time I'm not taking any kind of drugs/going to a therapist so please don't ever tell me to...


One day my best friend Stephanie's dad was walking in the Ghetto. First, he came upon a cat and the cat cried out "WHALLOP!" Then he came upon a dog who said "Marle." like "Mawrrrl." The end.

watch me die

[02 Oct 2001|03:52pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

*looks at icon* fuck you.

watch me die

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